Saturday, November 22, 2008

Oh why the heck not! Sex toy review!

Since this blog is about the wonders of dating and mating (note wonders was said sarcastically) why don't we talk about some sex toys!

That's right! Sex toy review!

As many of you know sometimes I get bored and get a bug to post and give reviews of sex toys, makeup, books, movies, you know whatever. I realized it has been a LONG time since I have done a sex toy review...so here you go! Its time for more sex toy talk!

First? things that wiggle giggle and shake!

So, first lets talk about the Nea A pretty little vibrator as pictured that packs a decent punch for being so small. Not for the woman who needs a power tool from the garage to get off but a pretty little thing that is perfect for traveling and makes a beautiful yet sexy gift. The other nice thing is that due to it's diminutive size it can be easily used during sex with a parter...or slipped into your purse, you know, just in case.


You can't really tell in this picture, but this pretty little black vibe is sleek with tiny cherry blossom patterns. It is also hard to tell in this picture but this thing? About the size of a zippo.

Though it may look like a blue hedgehog that was trying to catch a bullet in it's teeth, this is a lot of just light fun for you and your guy (it can also be put onto a dildo according to the manufacture for that alone all about me time) The vibration will probably get you man to laugh, or look really startled since he probably doesn't spend as much time with wiggly little battery operated friends than we ladies do.


ALSO in the wiggle category...the battles of the bunnies!

So, there are so many rabbit habit type vibes out there on the market right? Well I hate to say it but it is going to be a hit or miss battle on which one is right for you. If you have done strong muscles, the original Elastomer Rabbit might not do it for you the motors well...stop under pressure. Or smoke. (don't ask me how I know that. Seriously) and there are just places you don't want to worry about an electrical fire.

Avoid the Surfing Bunny like the plague. I have never used it and the main reason is that when I ordered it? It came out of the box looking like it was put together by an ADHD chimpanzee hopped up on meth with only one arm. Seriously it looked nasty glue drips torn silicone.

Another bunny option that has a stronger motor, is a little narrower but longer and doesn't stop when the going gets...er? tight? try the Doc Johnson iRabbit (does ANYONE else find it disturbing that you can buy it new...or "used" from Amazon? Seriously look at the page)

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Next up, a tie me up if you want to get into a little very light bondage that is easy to travel with, doesn't cost you a lot, and is kind of a good safe starting place for new partners? check it out basic black bondage tape. Think of it as super strong saran wrap in strips, stronger than it looks.

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Now, lets get slippery
Liquid silk is nice stuff, it is light, not greasy feeling and is made of a water base. This means there is minimum dripping, or that OMG I WAS SLIMED BY SOMETHING OUT OF GHOSTBUSTERS unsexy feeling. THAT being said, it might not be heavy duty enough if you are getting into more...tighter hot and heavy things? (reduuuundant. You get my point) also, as it dries it does tend to rub a bit and get a little sticky, but hey! Who doesnt! :P

Gun Oil this is one that is just made to be used when alone, really that is what it was designed for. Not that it is bad with a partner, it just really has a purpose. It is really really thick and might be a bit much to handle with a partner unless you are looking for something heavier. Don't let your country down dammit, soldiers supposedly designed this one! (alright, I have to wonder, how did soldiers design this in the field...I wonder what they tried first. OOOOW THE BURNING!)

Probe feels like you sneezed in your hand, you put it other places...and you get my point. That being said it is an effective lube. It just is REALLY REALLY messy and ends up in places you might not want it. Nothing is worse than feeling like there is snot on your pillow when someone's hand slips. Ewwww.

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Now to the new on the market...aka OOOOO Shiny!...aka G.M.O.O.T (give me one of those!) inducing...and the category of wow who thought that toy up?

The We vibe is being marketed as the first internal partner vibrator. This looks uber neat and yet somehow I wonder about how it would feel for the guy?

Tuyo LOOK! A giant vibrating...er.. ball. Nuff said. Well okay almost nuff, seriously? A vibrating ball? Is this a cat toy or a sex toy?

The Chandra...aka You will love my cyborg finger!!! Seriously I have heard that those are a lot of fun. I just can't help the giggles. Not sure what will happen when trying this one, its hard to get in the mood when one can not stop giggling.

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